Hilda on
the couch!
You need Java to see this applet.
Hilda's sessions are for ADULTS ONLY!!

Or else how can I freely vent!?

Children, read your fairy tales!
April 13, 2010 at 5:xx am

FOR MY FRIENDS ONLY who maybe genuinely concerned. This is too much information
for anyone else. As you can see from the next link: I certainly won't enjoy writing this.

This is a continuation of subject on the Audio and Visual page about my Lent confession of
health problems.

Let's leave the doctor out of this discussion this time.

Some if not all of you may recommend getting immediate medical care. "A SECOND
OPINION!" if I exhibit any continued symptoms of the listed problems. Or if not someone
should get it FOR me! (The REAL story. Again.)

I won't address the "real" story here because I think I am as fine as I am going to be but let
me tell you something about "getting health care". Let's make it short and simple. If I can.
I'm practicing.

In the past, I've worked in many areas of health care. So I have some knowledge of how it
SHOULD work. My conclusion is if I can't get timely, confidential and reliable treatment for a
simple little case of STD, why should I even attempt to get it with a complicated endocrine
problem.

Absent doctor: Sounds like a mental problem to ME which needs IMMEDIATE medical
intervention! "Leave it in the hands of the Lord", huh?

Hey! YOU are not supposed to be here.

To continue. Okay. Maybe it wasn't just a simple case. It was penicillin resistant. I have
some simple medical concerns that I have sought help for. I have a HIGH degree of respect
for the medical community but for SOME reason it seems that ALL I have encountered is
drama.

I am not overly concerned about it. Death doesn't frighten me. So it is easy for me to avoid
the medical community.

One example. I called one office. I kept getting voice mail. Unusual. No matter HOW many
times I called: voice mail. I don't like to leave my medical information on a recording. THEY
don't!!! I have problems with my phone anyway. It seems to be rigged up somehow. The
calls could have being going anywhere.

Finally, I called the main line. I was greeted by a VERY pleasant sounding voice. I asked to
speak to a person. She asked was I pregnant. I said, "No."

She explained WHY she asked because "you seemed upset that you had to say NO that
you were not pregnant!"

I knew immediately: Mo' drama.

Obviously she didn't know me UNLESS she had heard my previous phone calls just
because I called them ! I was RELIEVED when SHE answered UNTIL she spoke!  
Furthermore, ask anyone who knows me. They would know. I am thankful for the kids I did
have but actually I am RELIEVED I am NOT pregnant!

From day one, not only have I had several DIFFICULT pregnancies but I have ALWAYS
had  gynecological irregularities. They have NEVER been regular! NEVER! I have ALWAYS
been to specialists. SO I KNOW WHY THEY ASK THAT QUESTION!

DO YOU?

So my conclusion is this:
if those in the medical communities can not handle a simple phone call, why should I
venture furhter...until I am rested? As in maybe....dead? Yes. Never.

If I call to make an appointment elsewhere and get the run around, why should I bother?
I have been working on "this" particular problem for OVER a year! I have many other
complications with blood loss. Doctor: "You can't do both of them at the same time!"

THEN if I call ANOTHER place and then am able to make an appointment and get FOUR
messages reminding me, why should I bother?

Not only that but I get numerous other calls from the same place because NOW I am in a
survey because of ONE appointment. Why should I bother? THEY may be concerned but it
just don't take all that to see a doctor. And those questions are not about problems in my
brain either. If they can't handle a major operation or even a minor; how they handle
anything else.

I have had to be tranquilized in the past JUST before I have had to encounter situation like
this; the ignorance and the abuse was just TOO much for me to take sometimes. That was
the only way I has the nerve to see the doctor....who would listen to EVERY one except me.

Furthermore, when I called the number given to me by the survey person (who was
supposedly referred by my doctor), it was a mental health clinic: NOT the name they gave
me. I guess its possible. Let's think positive: maybe they think they are coming to my
rescue in someway. (I understand a LITTLE bit about their concerns) I don't need to be
rescued OR care much what people think.

But it COULD be a law enforcement problem and it ALL has been referred to the proper
agencies just in case. The participants in the immediate contact situation may not know it
but all the above is just outright abuse in my opinion. I am a patient like anyone else and
my wishes should be considered. I am NOT a slab of flesh! It just don't take all that drama.

I could be wrong, though.

Absent doctor: You are wrong.

Quiet.

I don't think I am the one that needs immediate intervention. Medical OR psychological. (
To paraphrase the extremely NICE NEXT PERSON who called: "Do you think that if you had
this (certain type)cancer, no medical intervention will help?")

Absent doctor: WHAT?

Okay. Not psychological!! Okay. I couldn't REALLY know about the medical intervention but
I don't THINK I need immediate medical intervention.

Yes, I hear rumors of health care reform ......

NOW you have the information on my efforts to get any kind of medical treatment and the
drama that occurs. Here.

I don't lose any sleep over it either. I guess I could try again "tomorrow". But I made my
peace with God long time ago. Death is a part of life.

Change my phone number? Lord, HOW many times have I done that? It doesn't help.

Enough in the confessional until MAYBE the end of next Lent. Okay?

You can keep those padded wagons, too! There are enough people with mental health
issues that we don't need those in marketing out on the road trying to find mental health
patients. People WILL take your "drugs". You do NOT have to beg!

God bless you all. And please get out of the wheelchair "cars". Enough torture. Babbler
mouths! You could have a few secrets yourselves! Can I get back to regular living now?
This is subject is FINISHED! Why don't you help the people with the REAL problems
and address my concerns as I express  them?

Okay, this wasn't short and simple. The next one will be.
July 24, 2010 at 2:xxamL

This is a thought that is DEFINITELY for the couch.

It's about names (and maybe dates for those names)

It is only a message that those who know me REALLY understand, if at all.

Something I had recently informed a friend:

My

brother's

NICK

name

is

NOT

Beau

it

is

Bo

as

in

BoBo (the clown)

and NOT

boo boo.

Now the name most commonly used is Jr., a name my ex-husband uses for one of his
"family" (get it?) members.

Now something even more weird.

It relates kinda to 9/11 and THOSE dates. So my words will be few. Those who know me will
understand.

But people have many reasons why they name people the way I do. Without giving too much
details (which I am sure some unscrupulous people will be glad with my reluctance to give
more details) but I must say that people choose names based on many reasons.

There are many factors that can influence such choices.

To keep my words few, I have been influenced by two of three people in my choice of names.

Reverend A. A. Allen, despite is unfortunate death. And life. Alcohol can really destroy lives
can't it?
AAA Motor Club. This is the link to the offical site.

Another very weird 9/11 message DEFINITELY for the couch which I don't know HOW I got
or whether it means anything is this:

Harris:

A
lan.........................................d

--Jesse (Jack's son)

But...GOSH!.... some of those landings have been awful hard especially after singing, "I
think I can fly" for some many of his infant years.